I want to recover from all the pain. I could release all the pain if I want to but for now, I have no courage. I am not strong enough to run and keep running from the fact that I still love him. Yes. Thousands or millions time I'd said that I'd get over him but I'm not. I care to stalk his miss's and now I feel like crying. Crap! I dropped my tears for someone who have no common sense for other's feeling. Yet, I keep on dropping my tears like he care. Oh stupid me.
The more I think on ways to hate him, the more I miss him. Hoping and praying that everything was just a bad dream. But I'm totally too big to be lied about it. It's not just a dream. Its a reality, I faced but I couldn't stand facing it. I am too small to carry this huge burden of feeling. I am not naive but I am a fool who trusted a great bastard. He's living happily now, somewhere in this world and I'm crying like a baby missing him in action. Shame on me!
Oh Mr Bloody-fool, I should kill you instead of falling in love for you. We shouldn't have met in the first place but Allah knows everything. Thanks for teaching me a very great lesson, for a lifetime. Without you, I won't know how hurt it is when we are being cheated. And I couldn't careless about how are you doing now but I do care how are you going to react if the same thing you did to others, happened to you. I would love to care about that. Perhaps. And hell-yeah. I hate you more than I used to love you!