2010.

It comes to the end.

Too many things happen.
Sweet and not so sweet things too.

2010 in memories :)

The Pain.

Inside the heart.
All over the body.
Through the soul.
I can feel the pain.


Tomorrow.
And the day after tomorrow.
I wish all this never happen.
Now and then.

The pain. Never end.

You're not.

The one.
Mine.
Belong here, in my heart.
For me.
The best thing.


And you'll never be :')

Cool.

Yup. I am cool with my ex-boyfriends now.
All of them. How many? Just too lazy to count.
And hell-yeah. I am still stalking some of them.


Pathetic. I know.

Empty.

Again.
I feel empty inside.
Nothing is wrong.


p/s: I think I'm in love.

Crazy.

My heart and body and brain and all.
Gonna gone crazy in any second.

Hell-yeah.
Crazy.

I am,

bad. I'm suck. I'm bitch. I'm whatever.

&&

Yeah. I am you!

Bear with it or just go.

Fuck.

Serious shit!

Its not okay.

And will never be okay.
I hate you!

No.

Heart,
Please say no.
Save yourself.
Please.

You,
I'm in pain.
When you get hurt.
You're bleeding.
My tears poured.

Dear heart,
Please stop.
Please.

Blank.

The brain.

The heart too.

Its all blank.

Samila Beach.

Here.

I kill the feeling.

Let it drown.

Alone.

I am not being cruel.

I tried to save the heart.

As long as the feeling is there.

My heart is dying.

Is it my fault?

Now.

I have a healthy heart.

Seriously.

Full with happiness.

And joy.

Forget.

To say is easy. And you'll forget what you say easily.

I really mean it. I want to forget the feeling. If I can do magic, it'll be easier maybe. Do you watch Harry Potter? How Hermione erased her parents memories over her? "Obliviate!" and poofffff. I forget him, I forget the love. That'll be cool. If.

I heart Thailand because the food is cheap. But, knowing the fact that I'm getting fatter if I stay here for a long time makes me miss my homeland, Malaysia.

Ignored.

Its not fun when you are no more than a stranger. I can't act like I don't care. Can't! I can work with people I don't really know but its hard when I'm the only one who is different from them. I am a HRM student. I'm the youngest. And its not cool when my heart doesn't feel comfortable around these people. It will make my smile fly far far away back to Malaysia or maybe somewhere else. I don't feel like smiling. I don't have heart to be here anymore longer.

I just hate this situation!

This is serious.

I think right now I can get over him. I can get over everyone. You've must be thinking, there goes the saying again and again but he has never been forgotten yet. Naa. This time I really mean it. Whats more important than online my Facebook and stalk his page right after I logged in. Not now, after the very second day in Songkhla I had put a thought over it. I am nothing to him even he is something for me. I am not going to be happy living with one sided love. Never. Prove me if there's any people living happily when other people doesn't reply their love. 

Babe, you are strong to face this. So, please be okay because sooner or later he will leave you here, waiting for him to come back when he didn't have any feelings of doing so. If his heart wasn't made for you, then there must be some other guy's heart that will match you. Just pray to Allah. He knows whats the best for you and me and everybody. Dear heart, chill :)

Missing.

Friends, I miss you guys. Seriously. Being far from you guys make me realize that you're the best.

Even I'd met lot of handsome guys, you guys are much more handsome than them.

Heart, Amalia Rosmadi && Noor Haziqah Raziman :)

Hero.

My hero is me, myself and I. I used to think that one day I'll meet my hero not realizing that I am the hero.

Congratulations to my heart because you're being strong for all this while. And dear heart, please get stronger. You don't need men's love as your food. Enough with love from friends and family. I love you, heart!

I love you friends :)

This moment.

At this moment. I am crying. Something is not right there. In my heart, but I don't know what is it. And I don't want to know because it might hurt me even more.

Yes, I know I'm pathetic.

Sleepy-head.

Oh-my. I am totally sleepy right now. So, I would love to choose sleep rather than updating my-another-blog. I am so not in mood to update my blog for the mean time as I don't know and I don't have anything sounds interesting to be shared.

And yeah. Today I really had a great time. Just arrived at my room after a-hectic-day. I've been out since 0500 a.m. I joined the UUM Bike Challenge as one of the committee. Then, I went to AS to watch Harry Potter with Alia, Mirul, Aide and Mufti. Super fun. But part I hate the most is, I am suffering from stomach-ache and watching that two little kids playing in the toilet had made my day even worst. I even confess my feeling towards him to his best-friend.

I'm gonna stop here. Because I want to go to sleep. I really wanna go to bed right now. Good night beauty :)

Pain.

I want to recover from all the pain. I could release all the pain if I want to but for now, I have no courage. I am not strong enough to run and keep running from the fact that I still love him. Yes. Thousands or millions time I'd said that I'd get over him but I'm not. I care to stalk his miss's and now I feel like crying. Crap! I dropped my tears for someone who have no common sense for other's feeling. Yet, I keep on dropping my tears like he care. Oh stupid me.

The more I think on ways to hate him, the more I miss him. Hoping and praying that everything was just a bad dream. But I'm totally too big to be lied about it. It's not just a dream. Its a reality, I faced but I couldn't stand facing it. I am too small to carry this huge burden of feeling. I am not naive but I am a fool who trusted a great bastard. He's living happily now, somewhere in this world and I'm crying like a baby missing him in action. Shame on me!

Oh Mr Bloody-fool, I should kill you instead of falling in love for you. We shouldn't have met in the first place but Allah knows everything. Thanks for teaching me a very great lesson, for a lifetime. Without you, I won't know how hurt it is when we are being cheated. And I couldn't careless about how are you doing now but I do care how are you going to react if the same thing you did to others, happened to you. I would love to care about that. Perhaps. And hell-yeah. I hate you more than I used to love you!

Hai.

Yuppies. I choose to write it here. The other part of me. I am no colorful. I laugh then I cry. I am such a cry-baby. And I wanna cry it out-loud here with no one. With nobody but me.

I have a heart. A heart that sing a sad song. I thought that heart inside of me is strong. I tested it with lots of painful things. And now its getting weak. Weaker. Its dying. That strong heart I had before can't endure any more pain. Cannot. Just can't.

Dear heart, please be strong. Please give me another chance. Please.